On Acting
Posted on: 11/26/2023
first blawg
Welcome to the first blog post. Today I will rant about a topic on the mind to inaguarate my having a website and a blog! Today's thoughtspew is on acting. The problem with the modern world of acting is something I have a hard time putting my finger on. Truth be told, this is the first time I've really given it a go. Between the way theater is taught to young children at school, creating presentational habits that are well ingrained-- To the audition process, which can be likened to being served up, a cadaver to be feasted on by your betters. A good world for art would be a world without betters. To me, art is like being naked in a room full of people who are also naked, and you're all really normal about it. Other animals always are.
I often get nervous before in-person or Zoom auditions, most of the time I don't even like the scripts. The way it is structured seems to encourage this, it truly is an audition. If I were a director, casting director, I would sit my actors down, get to know them, relate to them. Engage with them on the story and character in a way that retains the art in the process. A performance is just that, acting at it's highest can be more than performance, it can be real life incarnate. This type of audition process and directorial style does exist, but it's more likely going to be found working in indie scenes or among very successful artists where the audition pool is very small to begin with. It is hard to give this amount of care when hundreds or thousands of people might be auditioning.
In this way, it is my own fault for the nervousness-- it may not be of my making, but my fault it is, a fault that consumes my days overcoming. I've had days. Weeks. Months. All shining-- of living as being. The sheer confidence it brought me, it is astounding to me now but it is so simple. Something that words cannot convey alone, it must be experienced. I seek to experience it every moment. I search for it and search for it. When I've had it, really really had it, acting, auditioning, it becomes as natural to me as life, which comes even more natural in this place as well. I'm still working on finding my way. But I've found it. I know it exists. I know I can have it.